Personal Identity Series Chapter 1

(**Note*** I wrote this on March 20, 2020, and then couldn’t get up the nerve to post it- that is why some of the details may seem a little off now that we are working on coming out of quarantine… :) Continue!) Welcome back, Fam! I’ve made a few changes to the blog as you can see. More are coming but they will be slow, as I’m still working full time as a Pharmacy Technician at the hospital, which let me tell you- is SPOOKY right now with this COVID-19 shiz. People aren’t taking it seriously, aren’t self quarantining, and are hoarding stuff so people in need can’t get any, etc. The hospital is a ghost town for the moment because they’ve banned visitors except in extraordinary circumstances (maternity, end of life, you know..) I am expecting it to change drastically to become ultra busy in the next few weeks as more and more people get the virus and get really sick. We just gotta take it day by day. Anywho, I’ve decided to TRY to niche down in the blog world and focus on only a few things I am really interested in. You’ll see my content change to reflect this, and hopefully you find it interesting too! I’ll be focusing a lot on health. Mental, emotional, and physical health to be precise- for an overarching theme of Total Health (that’s what I’m calling it.) I am not a professional and nothing I say should be taken as medical advice (because it’s not.) But I am going to be sharing tons of stuff that hopefully someone can use to work on their own journey towards a healthier life! I want to start off this new content by talking about personal identity and how it can affect your mental health. First, what is personal identity? In my own ULTRA eloquent words: It is the image you have in your head of who you are. It is a culmination of a HUGE range of specific traits like your taste in music, your style, your physical traits, and more all mashed into a mental bucket labeled “ME.” So, each of us have our own special mix of traits in our “ME” buckets, and some buckets are more full than others, meaning some people have a better idea of what makes them them than other people do. This is fine, and it makes sense, because as we go through life we discover things we love and are passionate about and sort of adopt those things and store them in our buckets. The buckets are not one way, either. You may decide along the road that wearing a tie dye zip up hoodie zipped ALL the way up literally every day of your life isn’t you anymore (I did that. It was me. Middle school was not so great a time...) so that little dollop of the old you will slosh out of your bucket. Buckets can grow to hold more or shrink to hold less. Everyone has their bucket, their personal identity, that they decide for themselves, but sometimes this identity is tainted by things the outside world has forced on them. Bullying, name calling, shaming and judgement can all warp our thoughts about our personal identities. When these things start to poison the ideas we have of ourselves, we start to experience fear and doubt. “Maybe I’m not as smart as I thought I was? Maybe my freckles don’t make me special and beautiful? Maybe being nice to people really IS seen as weakness?” These negative thoughts are seeds. Seeds that blossom into invasive weeds that take over our buckets. Over time the weeds will crowd out anything you might wish to add to your bucket in the future. For example, you decide you want to learn how to play the violin. Someone in your life tells you that’s stupid and you’ll never have the patience to do so. This seed plants in your bucket and grows until it's a weed taking up all the room you might have had for learning an instrument. You essentially become what other people tell you you are and there isn’t much room to change and/or it makes changing very difficult (not impossible, thankfully!!) If we allow society, our peers, even our family members to plant these Weed Seeds in our “ME” buckets, we allow them to control us, and in turn, give them the keys to our mental health. This leads to a decline in mental health, and can increase feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression and more. If you are not confident in your personal identity and if you let others tell you what your personal identity should be instead of creating it for yourself, it will create stress and your mental health will suffer. On the flip side of this, if we surround ourselves with supportive people, they can nourish us in ways we never thought possible. We can become more sure of our personal identities, we can feel safe to explore new hobbies or careers without fear of judgement or shame. We can explore new fashion choices and share ideas and join conservation efforts and continue to fill our buckets with things we love all while hearing words of encouragement. If I go back to my Weed Seed analogy- these positive, supportive people are sunshine and rain for the seeds YOU plant in your “ME” bucket. The personal identity you create and hold for yourself can be strengthened by these powerful forces which are like fertilizer for your Me Seeds. This builds your confidence about your personal identity - who you are- and will positively impact your mental health. Now- if you, like me, have been struggling with what you believe makes up the parts of your own personal identities, I’ll be talking about a few different personality tests I found really helpful in the next few posts. Stay tuned!Love,Jess