The End of My Teaching Career
The end of my teaching career...
Well. It happened. I’ve seen/felt it coming since August.
It being the end of my teaching career.
Since August I’ve worked my absolute hardest creating all the material I need for 3 separate classes from scratch. I was the only middle school science teacher in the whole school so there was no one to plan with or share materials with or lab supplies if there was a lab I wanted to do that the 2 high school science teachers may not have had the supplies for. I made tests, quizzes, reviews, web quests, every lesson plan, vocabulary lists, midterms, you name it- I made it from scratch. I tried to follow the state standards which are VERY ambiguous in order to make sure I taught what they needed to learn. I tried to use the materials I was given (the textbook and accompanying online program) but they didn’t entirely align with the standards so I used what I could from them and not the rest. There was reading and writing and labs and tests and quizzes just like every other class.
The week before midterms I was forced to resign. Well, given the choice- Resign or be terminated. No explanations. No guidance. No suggestions. Nothing. Just a printed resignation letter to sign and return if I chose to do so.
I guess there were clues along the way. Children judging my lessons. Complaining about my plans and activities, being too disruptful and chaotic to complete class work and labs in a safe and meaningful way, which in turn made me less and less inclined to do any labs, or prepare fun engaging lessons because I couldn't control the kids behaviors long enough to get through them. (Yes, classroom management is part of a teachers job and effective teachers can handle the worst kids- but none of the methods I tried worked and I got too tired to try more/different methods towards the end.) Parents emailing to complain about their child scoring a B on the most recent test. The principal asking me and only me to shadow the two high school science teachers to “see what they do and learn what materials they’re using” and to “work with the curriculum instructor to plan some lessons” with no follow up on either request. (I did both things. I was teaching just about the same way they were. And I was only able to meet with the CI once and nothing came from it.)
Parents argued back and forth with me via email about how a B on a test wasn’t fair. How I must not be a good teacher if the class average on a test is an 84 (that is actually a good average- any higher and it would have meant my test was too easy). How their children are telling them they’re not learning anything in my class (when the students are sitting there with a B average.) How last year their student made all 100s in science and was loving it and now is making Cs and Ds and hating it (student in question sat watching K-POP videos on their laptop instead of doing my assignments after I ask repeatedly for them to get to work.)
The principal preached to us in every department meeting that learning is what matters most. Not grades. He preached that "these parents are going to have to learn that they’re not paying for grades. They’re paying for an education." Well, I truly believed that. I practiced what he preached to all of us teachers at the school and focused on the teaching and the learning. I tried to change the culture in my classroom to be about learning, but the students only cared about the grade I put on their paper and in the computer. When a few parents figured out that I couldn't be bullied into giving their kids grades they didn't earn, they went to the principal and made him let me go.
Most of the students did learn. And a lot of them enjoyed my class. And a lot of parents thought I was a good teacher for their children. And now those parents are mad. And those kids are all out a teacher. Because only a few parents thought they knew more about teaching than I did.
At first I was mad. Really mad. They wouldn’t tell me why, but I knew. The principal even told the group of parents that went to talk to him and were mad about him letting me go that it had nothing to do with me, my teaching, or my performance as a teacher. He also told me on multiple occasions after asking me to resign that if I needed anything at all, a recommendation, a referral, anything, that he would be happy to give it to me (which seemed odd to me since he was the one letting me go.) That only leaves the parents whose kids didn’t like me. The ones with lots of money invested in the school. The ones with all the power. And that made me sad. Sad that no one but the teachers care about the kids there. Sad that the parents with money and power would ruin it for the vast majority. Sad that when I told the kids I was leaving they cried. They hugged me and begged me not to go. Wrote me letters saying they loved me and loved my class. Cried all through their midterms and came back again after their next classes test to say goodbye one last time.
At first I felt like a failure. I failed the kids. I failed myself. I failed the school. But no. Once again the system has failed the students. Once again the students are the ones left hurting. I know I could have done some things differently, looking back, but I did the best I could at the time. I will never teach in a school system again. I love teaching. But I hated being a teacher.
I've since learned that they replaced me with one of the students mothers who has a masters degree in science of some sort and who substitute teaches at the school. I think they are in capable hands, although I have no idea what sort of teacher training/experience other than substitute teaching she has. Not my classroom to worry about any more though.
As for me, I'll be going back to my Pharmacy Tech position at the hospital at the end of January while I try to figure out what I actually want to do, which is proving to be the hardest job of my life.
Hope you are having a great and productive first month of 2020!!! Leave career suggestions in the comments. I'm looking into everything (except food services and retail) hahaha.
Happy New Year!
-Jessica
P.S. Below you will find a video of a Build-a-Bear that two of my 7th grade girls made for me. So sweet.